When I´m depressed I feel like I´m stuck in a container where no one or nothing can reach me. Isolated, incapable of getting out, unable to let anyone or -thing in. Shitty place. Nothing can grow there. Except self-hatred and shame. What I do like about being depressed, though, is the weird sense of humor I get. Even though I said nothing can grow in the container, humor finds a way. That humor is heartfelt. The least likely thing can be funny. Anything can be funny. The idea of nothing can be funny. I don´t know. That´s funny.
- Discovering the dust bunnies under the couch – I´ve actually created life while I was busy trying to keep everything together and my head above water.
- Thinking «I wonder if my dress is stuck in my underwear, what if people are looking at my underwear».
- Looking at the person sitting next to me on the subway, who just realized that the sub is leaving his station.
- Being in the moment, 2 seconds after I slip in the snow, when I realize that I just flapped my arms like crazy, working my ass off to stay on my feet.
- Going to the store to buy groceries, leaving with an orange and a lemon – because they looked pretty together.
- Looking at three people jumping up and down in front of me at a concert.
- When the ticket app on my phone fails during a ticket control.
- Searching for «Fuck this shit» on youtube, getting Belle and Sebastian.